Pest Jokes for Dads
What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day?
Turns over a new leaf.
What do cats like to sleep on?
A caterpillow.
What do you do when two snails are fighting?
Just let them slug it out.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied 'er!
How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?
Put a pile of manure in the living room.
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a ant?
Bugs Bunny.
What was the snail doing on the highway?
About 1 mile per week
What has 72 legs and catches flies?
Spiders playing baseball.
What has 50 legs but cant walk?
Half a centipede.
What are spider webs good for?
Spiders.
What do you get when you cross a spider with an ear of corn?
Cobwebs.
What the best bee for your health?
Vitamin bee
Where do bees go on holiday?
Stingapore
What's a bees favorite TV station?
The Bee Bee C
Why do bees buzz?
Because they can't whistle
What goes zzub, zzub?
A bee flying backwards
What do you do when an aardvark gets injured?
Call an antbulance.
What kind of suit does a bee wear to work?
A buzzness suit.
What do you get when you cross a bell with a bee?
A humdinger.
What's more dangerous than being with a fool?
Fooling with a bee.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Yes, but they need to wear their little yellow jackets
Why was the spiders mother troubled by her son?
He was spending too much time on the web.
What do spider order at the drive through?
French flies.
How do bed bugs get around?
They itch hike.
Why can you never trust spiders to keep secrets?
Because they post stuff on the web.
Where should you never take a dog?
The flea market
Why was the ant confused?
Because all of his uncles were ants.
Why did the snail give the slug 5 dollars?
Because he thought he was homeless.
What do you call a very old ant?
Ant-ique.
What is a rodents favorite game
Hide and squeak.
Why wouldn't they let the butterfly into the dance?
Because it was a mothball.
Why is the letter A like a flower?
Because bee's come after them
What do you call a fly with broken wings?
A walk
What does an aardvark get when he over eats?
Ant-digestion.
What do aardvarks take for indigestion?
Anta-Seltzer.
What does an aardvark take when it gets a cold?
An ant-ihistamine.
What makes a dog laugh and itch at the same time?
The Flea Stooges.
What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?
A centipede on its back.
What's worse than a worm in your apple?
Half a worm.
What has 100 legs, 25 noses and is very loud?
A herd of stampeding aardvarks
What do you call two ants that run away to get married?
Ant-elopes!
What's the biggest kind of moth?
A mammoth.
What do bees say to their kids when they're naughty?
Bee-hive yourself.
Where do bees go after they get married?
On their HONEY-moon!
What do you call two spiders who just got married?
Newlyweb!
What was the aardvark's favorite Beatles song?
It's Been an Aards Day's Night
What did the aardvarks teacher say when he walked into class on Monday morning?
Why the long face?
What do aardvarks like on their pizza?
Ant-chovies.
Why was the aardvark jumping up and down?
He hsd ants in his pants
What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
A yardvark.
A giraffe and an aardvark were having a foot race. The race was neck and neck, but the aardvark won by a nose!
What has six legs, two arms, four eyes and a tail?
A man holding an aardvark.
Definition of an aardvark...
Aan aanimal resembling aan aanteater.
What does a twenty pound rat say to a cat?
Here kitty, kitty, kitty
Where does a rat with a broken tail go?
A re-tail store.
